Trying to get into the holiday spirit

There is something about the prospect of snow that turns me into a giddy child every winter. Bring it, nature!

Thanks for the memories

Everytime I see the signs in a fast food drive through saying that they can't serve "walk up" customers, I think of 1997 marching season.

And then I wonder if those signs are partially our fault. It was fun, though!

Countdown to NaNoWriMo

Quiet day of reading and resting ahead. I can start writing at midnight! I know how my novel will start and end, and I now some of how it will flow, but I am hoping that it will just run out as I type.

This will be a great challenge for my creativity.

Abs, I need you to keep me on track!

Farewell, Mr. Stevens

We'll miss you, Mark, but I think we are all relieved that your battle is over. No one deserves to suffer as you did.

Love,

Amanda and the DHD crew

PS: Proud of you for taking the last of your strength to push that rabbi away. Even in the end you stuck to your beliefs and convictions.

Inspiration #2

Untitled

He's in my mind
and he won't leave
crowding thoughts
haunting dreams
he comes unbidden
in my time of need
I just don't need him
though we laugh
and love
in the night
I am happy
I wake in my bed
and feel the guilt
as reliving the dream
overcomes me
I don't love him
I don't want him
he's gone
for good
but when he creeps in
I can't shake him
smile and touch
burned into me
I crave my sanity

Inspiration #1

Distraction

Turning, turning
the mind is churning
the world whizzes by
no time to cry
yet I do
can't concentrate
everything's blurry
I hear her speak
half sentences
my mind wanders
colors run
I jolt back
then I'm off again
maybe I'll finish this later
most likely not.

And the plot thickens!

I have a NaNoWriMo idea!

Beer.

The hard part I think will be waiting until November to write it!

It must be a sign

I could have sworn I saved a copy of my "book" on my flash drive.

Apparently not.

With the laptop entirely dead, there is no way for me to retrieve a copy.

I guess that means I start from scratch.

It was probably for the best.

Olfactory Overload

I've heard people say that certain songs can trigger emotions and memories in a person. I know that is true because it does happen to me, on occasion. What I experience more, though, is scents doing the same thing. Just one whiff of a random smell can send me reeling. It makes me remember.

Things I want to remember.

Things I shouldn't want to remember.

Things I just shouldn't remember.

For instance, last night I stepped outside to take some movies back to the video store. There was something in the air last night that took me back to West Branch. I had to stop for a moment and just close my eyes. When I opened them again and looked up at the stars, I might as well have been there.

A few months ago, I was suddenly taken to a street in Mytilini. I don't remember where I was or even what the scent was, but it was there.

I have to avoid going out after a summer rain. As much as I love the scent, it takes me to a place I shouldn't go, not because of a bad memory, but because of a good one. One of the ones I shouldn't have. Losing myself in it is never a good thing.

Then again, sometimes it is nice to have something in yourself that you don't share with anyone. It's mine and mine alone.

It is just me?

Oh boy

I think I may have found the dress.

I didn't expect to find it so soon. I didn't expect to find it where I found it.

I think I didn't expect that any would look even remotely nice on me.

I need to boost my self esteem...

Vacation

So, Florida was a blast. Here are highlights:

Outlet shopping.

Feeding the dolphins at Sea World.

Cocoa Beach. The sand was brutally hot, but we had some good food at the Sand Bar just off of it. Plus, bodysurfing and Ron Jon!

Flea market "adventure" with the Knights. It didn't last long.

Motion simulators and I do NOT agree.

Catch Phrase: "This is a tasty treat that sometimes has a vegetable in it." - Jon Van Oss. (The answer was cornbread)

Sam's finger dancing.

Barging in on "teen night" at the condo complex. More finger dancing.

Busch Gardens was alright, even if I didn't feel well enough for rides. However, if you are going to have sections of a park based on different parts of the world, please have authentic food.

Friday with Holly.

Hollywood Studios was fun. The new Toy Story ride is a LOT of fun. I was scared of the Tower of Terror, but it was fun too. The Aerosmith coaster was worth it. Ian was an extra in the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular.

Epcot rocks my world. Enjoyed all of the pavilions. Wish I had more money to spend on souvenirs. Got to have pictures taken with Donald Duck.

Got Engaged! Ian did well. :)

Early flight home, but then we had the weekend to recuperate.

Can I go back on vacation now?

Stagnance

I want to be inspired but can't find the words.

Destressing

Sometimes I forget how much I enjoyed living alone. No TV on all the time, music playing in the background, curling up with a book wherever and whenever I like. Napping when I choose. Cleaning in the middle of the night.

It's peaceful and liberating.

Not that I don't love having Ian with me. I also can't imagine life any way other than it has been the past five years. Well, okay, I can, but I can't picture going back and changing anything. It's just nice to have one of these nights/weekends once in awhile to unwind and pick everything up.

Or is this a nightmare?

I need to stop letting my daydreaming get the best of me.

Hot flashes at 26 suck

I feel like a menopausal woman. Bleurgh. This better level off in the next four weeks or so!

To SOC or not to SOC...

That is the question. It would take me about two years.

Something to think about.

Stuck in my head...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

Patting myself on the back

I totally just replaced my laptop fan and the machine is humming quietly. Go me!

Melancholy

I can feel myself becoming a bitter person, as much as I don't want to be.

Success!

TV purchased! Now I wait a week.

Finally!

Picked out a TV. Totally going for 40 inches.

Wahoo!

Mind on the run

My "short" story is quickly ballooning into a short novel. Or a long novel, it's hard to tell from the first chapter.

I guess I have more to say than I thought I did.

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things...

My inspiration has finally come! I started writing my story at H&R Block tonight. I don't have time to post it here tonight, but it is on two sides of plain white paper right now.

It feels good to be able to write.

Speechless

I can't believe my best friend is having a baby.

Wow.

I have no idea what to say.

2008: A Glance

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? I was a bridesmaid twice in two weeks.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't do resolutions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No

4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, Ian's grandma

5. What countries did you visit? Only Canada (I think).

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Wedding plans, a better job

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't know if there really are any.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Handling my own bills

9. What was your biggest failure? Finding a better job

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I was really sick for Easter, and have been fighting a cold now since September

11. What was the best thing you bought?Our fabulous new bed.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Ian, best friends

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The people in Arizona at McCain's concession speech

14. Where did most of your money go? Rent, weddings, bed

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? BED! and Weddings.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Anything we played on Guitar Hero this year...

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
i. happier or sadder? happier, I think
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer. Costs go up and my pay does not. But H&R B is giving me a raise for this season!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? walking

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? stressing about money

20. How will you be spending Christmas? We spent Eve with my family, then I did morning with mom and dad, and then day with mum and dad. Then we had to drive home. It sucked.

21. What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2008? Haha, when Ian said to Dar in front of a ton of our bosses "If you gave head like that, I'd give you money too."

22. Did you fall in love in 2008? At least bi-weekly.

23. How many one-night stands? None.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Battlestar Galactica, Grey's

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I try not to hate

26. What was the best book you read? I read a lot of good books this year

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Stevie Wonder and Apocalyptica

28. What did you want and get? A bed, a new iPod, a new president

29. What did you want and not get? new job, engagement ring

30. What was your favorite film of this year? The Dark Knight, Zack and Miri

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went to Anne's parents' for post-wedding breakfast, birthday dinner/cake/exhausted and teary breakdown with my family, long nap before driving home. I was 26.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Wedding planning, maybe? Or maybe not.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Comfortable but not hobo-ey

34. What kept you sane? Anne, grandparents, cats, Betsy

35. Which celebrity / public figure did you fancy the most? Obama

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Sarah Palin. Bah.

37. Who did you miss? Many friends, but I got to see one for the first time in almost four years back in March. Missed you, Abijo!

38. Who was the best new person you met? Mecher, Amanda Pacanovsky

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: Working hard and getting along with your boss has definite value.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "I'm in the business of misery."